Another fun little missive I wrote around the time Cuervos came out; this time for TV Guide.
Question: I’ve got room in my life to watch just one more show. Tell me why it should be yours.
Jay: Subtitles are an excellent way to increase your vocabulary.
Question: Who should be watching?
Jay: TV-MA viewers with a smartphone, computer or tablet. Oh yeah, or a television. People still have those, right?
Question: What happens if we don’t watch your show?
Jay: You won’t find out if Mary Luz is a big, fat liar.
Question: What’s the best thing anyone has said or written about your show?
Jay: “This is the greatest show in the history of television.”
Question: What’s the worst thing?
Jay: “This couldn’t possibly be the greatest show in the history of television.” – person reading this interview.
Question: Who was right?
Jay: Definitely Jay Dyer.
Question: What’s an alternate title for your show?
Jay: We were going to call both the team and the show Los Escorpiones, but then ads for Scorpion started popping up last summer. It’s a little show on CBS. You might have heard of it.
Question: Give us an equation for your show. (For example, the producer of BANSHEE called his show: Witness plus Warrior times Tarantino minus the boring parts of No Country for Old Men divided by Sex and Lucia minus Lucia; while the producer of BABY DADDY called his show: Friends plus Three Men & A Baby minus Steve Guttenberg divided by Full House plus Two Broke Girls minus the word “vagina”).
Jay: Tommy Boy plus Any Given Sunday divided by football times fútbol plus Game of Thrones minus Flowers in the Attic.
Question: Come up with a premise for the spin-off.
Jay: I’m all about prequels. Chava and Isabel as children. One father, two mothers, two children… I guess it would have to be a sitcom. Full Casa?
Question: What credit of yours would you prefer we forget?
Jay: My searing portrayal of the Tin Man in a college production of The Wiz. I still have nightmares. As for writing credits, I have no regrets. At least none that I’m willing to talk about without several more years of therapy.
Question: Tell me one thing about your cast.
Jay: No actors were harmed during the filming of this television program. A few soccer balls might have been.
Question: What other series would you most like to be an executive producer on?
Jay: Is time travel an option? If so, 30 Rock. Just to be in the room when they pitched Avian Bone Syndrome.
Question: Let’s scare the network. Tell us an idea that didn’t make it on to the screen.
Jay: Can’t. All the stuff that might have scared them already made it to screen.
Question: Finish this sentence: “If you like _______, you’ll love our show.”
Jay: Tacos and orgies.
Question: Pick another show, any show, to start a fake feud with.
Jay: Bloodlines. Our family feud vs. their family feud.
Question: What other show would you like to do a cross-over episode with? And how would that go?
Jay: The All New Mickey Mouse Club. The All New Mickey Mouse Club de Cuervos has a nice ring to it.
Question: How will your show change the face of TV as we know it?
Jay: I’m pretty sure you mean, “how has it?”